the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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