new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
