I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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