ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
