ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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