that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
