My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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