Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
