i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize