You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
