yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
