HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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