I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
