Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
