Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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