I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
