is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
