At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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