like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
