The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
