Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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