So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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