no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize