I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
