I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
