first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
