okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
