Christians are straight up FREAKS
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
