Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
