happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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