i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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