you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
