That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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