you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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