i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize