I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
