Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
