I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
