And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
