sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize