i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i will never coherently bang her
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my shit smells like andre
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
