So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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