Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
