Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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