i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
