your parents love me but you hate me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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