She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
