Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
People in love make me want to vomit
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
