I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
