apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
