No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
