That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
