Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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