so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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