Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
