Old men and throwing up are my life now.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
