20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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