Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize