The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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