Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
