so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
