he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
