May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
